You're my only hope

woot

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 18:51:53 GMT

my first day off in live foreverrrrrrr
guess what im doing?
NOTHING!
I'm so tired still. I might just go back to bed, cause I can :)

That stupid idiot still hasn't called me... THANK GOD.

I was hit by a car and the guy who did it called me the other day to ask me if I would pay the 500 dollars it would cost to fix the dent in his car.

I basically hung up on him.

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:40:30 GMT

I am using every possible second up before I go to work doing non-work stuff. It's a very dangerous thing. lol.

I ammm weird and silly.
And I just ate a salad and a sandwich and it was so so so good and now I need to really get ready for work but I don't want to so I am writing a very long run on sentence instead and it's so much more fun then getting ready for work.

Tomorrow I will have my first day off since the first! It's going to be awesome. I'm not going to do anything. At all. fuck yeah.

I slept too long... so now I am tired.

I heard coyotes the other night howling at the moon. A lot of them. It wasn't scary to me at all though. It was actually peaceful for some weird reason. It made me smile and fall asleep.

My boyfriend is nice. He has been cooking and cleaning for me since I have had no time at all.
It's awesome that I don't have to drag my ass into the kitchen to try to make food when all I want to do is sleep.

that is all. that is it. thisssssssssss is the end of the postttttt

My ear itches.

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:38:24 GMT

Half an hour until I have to leave for work.
I have had to call triple A three times in one week to come and tow Brandon's car that we just bought. It's going to be over 500 dollars to get it fixed. What's new... I have to spend money that I absolutely do not have.
Saw on the web today that there was another shooting. Only this time it was some blue collar guy working in an office building who'd lost his mind. It just makes me realize that people really are stretched too thin these days. People are asking lots of questions and getting no answers. I know exactly where they are all coming from. How are you supposed to make it in a world that is trying it's hardest to keep you down. This place shouldn't be called the land of opportunity anymore. It should be called the land of consumption and consequence. I just want to be able to stand on my own two feet. I feel like I have to work harder then everyone else to get there... it's almost driving me crazy. Not take a gun to work crazy ... more like turn coo coo and let someone else take care of me for the rest of my life crazy. Then I won't have to think about paying bills or feeding myself or how I'm going to be able to put enough gas in my car to get to work. Instead I'll just worry about why there are thirteen cheese balls in my bowl instead of twelve like every other Friday, or maybe why the people around me suddenly all look like giant lobsters.
That would be the life.... the nutso life.

Journal binge

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:04:09 GMT

Guess I must need it... since I'm gravitating toward it.
Today was weird. I realized that just being in certain surroundings can completely change my mood.
When I am at home I am normally in a thoughtful mood.
When I am at work I am usually really really happy or irritated. That makes me excited because I have never had a job were I've gone to work and felt really really happy for as long as I can remember.
When I am on the freeway I feel nervous or pissed or like I could sing forever.

I don't know it's just amazing to me how surroundings affect your mood ... which affects the way you come across to other people... which affects your life........ ohhhhhh how profound..... blah blah blah

Anyway spaghetti time..... or in the words of some gnarly character Tim and Eric made up:

"Spaghet!"

Hungry

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:25:20 GMT

I have bread turkey and pasta noodles..... sooo many options so little time.

Things are finally set up. Well, kind of.

I have most things put away but I really need a desk to store all of my office stuff in.

I think I may be coming down with a cold... it's disgusting... my ears are leaking... yeah sick. (definitely my sinuses)

I'll be much more comfortable and happy when we get a stupid desk in here and this old bookshelf out of the middle of the room.

Whatev

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:36:40 GMT

Once upon a time... I had a life and people actually read this thing.
Once upon a time... I actually had working cameras so that I could document my life and show people what was up to.
Once upon a time... I thought I would never be afraid to go back home.
Once upon a time... Ignorance was bliss
Once upon a time... I was convinced people cared about me... (once upon a time ignorance was bliss)
Once upon a time... I didn't know what it meant to be worked to the bone.
And she lived.......

I wish I could move

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 19:43:55 GMT

This whole being a gimp thing has made this week so much harder.... not just physically.
Actually I could care less that it's harder for me to move around except for the fact that I am stuck here in the same spot... I'm tired of being alone.
Break ups are hard ... and its your friends who help you through it... trouble is... I haven't seen much of them or talked to them really.... I just see a lot of him... and it's starting to weigh on me...
I just want someone to talk to. It seems like everyone is so busy......
maybe they're not, maybe they are.
I can't expect someone to drop everything to come and hang out with me, especially since I have officially become an inconvenience.
Nothing like a debilitating injury to stop you dead in your tracks and really take the microscope to your life.

Does anyone want to play? :-\

someone elses livejournal

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 22:01:20 GMT

Hello everyone.
So I have been kind of sneaking around on live journal reading people's posts and trying to absorb some of the things that other people have to say because people are interesting. I stumbled across finding_bliss I haven't read many of his posts but I listened to one of his voice posts today... and I literally teared up. If you're a girl you might want to take a listen... it's just him going on and on about how amazing this girl is that he's with that he met online. It gets cut off at the end and it's kind of long so I almost didn't listen to the whole thing... but if you're bored and you want to hear what unconventional love sounds like... or maybe true love... I haven't decided yet... go listen.
Post date: Feb 9th 11:40 pm

Hello

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 20:03:01 GMT

I feel like I'm missing out on the live journal experience....

I stopped writing because someone kept leaving me horrible comments over and over as an anonymous person. I figured if people wanted to hear what I had to say or if I needed to vent I could just talk to one of my friends in person. Anyway, the time has come... I am no longer running away from or hiding from those rude commenter's. Say whatever it is you want to say to me, I have a right to write whatever I want and so do you.
Bring it on.

...oh and
hello everyone.
:)
I'm back.

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Sat, 19 May 2007 18:41:49 GMT

I know I said goodbye... but I thought I would just stop by to say...

PARTY AT MY HOUSE FRIDAY. :)

CELEBRATING MY GRADUATION TO LEVEL TWO IN SCHOOL! and my parent's being out of town.

Ya'll are invited... except for mr. or mrs. rude anonymous comment leaver.

<3 love ya'll

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Tue, 01 May 2007 00:27:29 GMT

goodbye live journal.

Everyone respond! It wil be fun... :)

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 06:25:48 GMT

Favorite movies:

Which movie makes you cry like a baby?

Which one makes you laugh until you're sore?

Which one makes you bored as hell?

Which one makes you have an overall wonderful feeling?

Which one makes you so scared you almost make poopies in your pants?

Which one is your absolute all time favorite?

Just thought it would be interesting to see peoples responses, and it will help me pick some movies to watch :)

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 19:13:44 GMT

Is luv and love the same thing?

unaccomplishment is my accomplishment.

I want to feel the sun on my face but the light hurts my eyes.
I think I may just stay inside, crawl under the covers and forget I'm alive.

It's only in my head.

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 14:09:10 GMT

We talk like lions
but we sacrifice like lambs

can't you see my walls are crumbling...

she says she's tired of life
she must be tired of something.

Get right to the heart of matters... it's the heart that matters more

I think you'd better turn your ticket in and get your money back at the door.

Whatever.
It's not like anything works out in my favor.

Lazy!!!!!1111111

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 02:06:35 GMT

I'm so tired.
So far today I have watched
Pay it Forward.
Four Weddings and a Funeral
.. and I am now currently watching Titanic
All I have done is lay in bed and eat and sit in front of the computer and watch tbs.
Life is awesome.
Until tomorrow when I have to actually do things again and start being responsible... ew.
Oh and last night while getting wasted with my old band members we decided to become a band again so that's a plus... making music is always good.
THE END.

This modern thought can get the best of you...

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 02:54:51 GMT

Today has actually been alright.
It's nice.

There's no design your flaws are fine.

I think I need a drink....

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 03:32:05 GMT

...Actually I need a nap.
Finals suck.
Brother's are stupid.
Money isn't my friend.
Boys are distant.
Parent's are pushy.

... so actually... I need a drink.

Thank God for booze and friends or I might .... be...... worse?
"I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I can't keep it all together."

TMNT

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 04:25:24 GMT

Is anyone else excited that they're making a ninja turtles movie???!!

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 01:01:41 GMT

80 things you prob didn't know about me.

Whats your middle name? Nichole

How big is your bed? umm queen? I think...

What are you listening to right now? Incubus

When is your birthday? November 21st

Hair color? blonde

What are the last 3 digits in your cellphone number? 544

What was the last thing you ate? taco bell... i feel sick :-\

Last person you hugged? Alex Brown and Janette <3

How is the weather right now? sunny and windy

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Ryan :) <3

Favorite type of Food? yummy kind

Do you want children? eventually i think

Do you drink alcohol? i sure do

Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night? haha. Do I even have to answer that?

Eye color? blue/gray

Do you wear contacts/glasses? nope.

Favorite holiday? Halloween... it used to be Christmas...

Favorite Season? urrr summer or fall

Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? yes :(

Last Movie you Watched? In her shoes

What books are you reading? the da vinci code...... HA

Piercings? ears

Favorite Movie? Moulin Rouge... my dvd is messed up i can't watch it :(

Favorite football Team? BALLS

What were you doing before filling this out? hanging out with Alex and Janette at dog beach

Any pets? 2 doggies and 5 turtles

Dogs or cats? BOTH!

Have you ever loved someone? yes

Who would you like to see right now? Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.

Have you ever fired a gun? yep

Do you like to travel by plane? no not really... scary :-\

Right-handed or Left-handed? right

If you could go to any place right now where would you go? India.

Are you missing someone? yes... Ryan

Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? I watch cartoons whenever i want ch81

Are you hiding something from someone? I don't think so..

ARE YOU 18? 21 biotch

WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE? rain forest?

DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT? yeah

FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING? I'm hung over... then... Ryan. :D haha

WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE? Everything that I need

GRILLED Or FRIED? usually grilled

WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE? the fact that i'm unique

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? .... yes.

FAVORITE HANGOUT? my room... or gaslamp.... or shannons .... or karens apartment

4 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? Ryan, Showers, Love, Friends/Family

FAVORITE SONG?? urggg all of them?

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? death... the dark.... screwing up

WHATS YOUR FATHERS MIDDLE NAME? Lee

WHATS YOUR MOTHERS MIDDLE NAME? anne sort of.... not really because that's her first name so she doesn't really have one.

STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD TAKE ONE THING? .... uh.... common..... Ryan... duh.

FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL? don't have one

CELL PHONE PROVIDER? sprint

FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE? my family/friends/puppies

Whats your favorite color? blues!

WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKE WITH YOU? my purse with everything i need in it.

WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? a lounge singer lol.

WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 11:11? think about gianennio or that song by rufus wainwright

THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET? white

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED? ...... RYAN. lol.

Okay so. I'm dumb.

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Sat, 24 Feb 2007 03:27:13 GMT

Hi, I am so sorry if I have made you worry about me at all. I really miss you! I constantly think about you. For the first couple of days we were in a pretty remote area of india that did not have wireless internet, it sucked, you should have seen the place we had to stay, and plus I thought i was going to die like a hundred times while we were driving there. now I am back in New Delhi and i should be in big cities from now on so i should be able to send you messages on a regular basis. hopefully i can catch you online soon to chat. like i said i really miss you and i miss just talking to you. I really want to see your beautiful smile it would make everything so much better, and to be able to kiss your lips would take away all my worries, not that I worry alot but, i sometimes worry about what will happen between us. Well, i just wanted to let you know that i was okay, hopefully i can catch you online soon.

Ryan

<3

Just a regular lonely rant.

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 08:04:34 GMT

I hate this. I was so excited about him. :(
Not that it's all just vanished into thin air or something like that.

The excitement is still there....
It's just HE has vanished into thin air.
literally.
He got on a plane and now he's gone.
No word since Sunday.
Am I stupid?
All this talk about him buying a plane ticket because all he wanted to do was see me again and sending me roses and a message that made me melt into a pile of goo..and now
Nothing?!

He's in India and I suppose he just is unable to really talk ... bad reception?
...poor wireless systems??? BUSY??... with another girl ................... (breath)

Isn't India supposed to be technologically advanced.... like Japan.. or china?

Gah. I hate thinking about him. I'm so much better at not being in relationships now, that I don't really know how to handle these constant thoughts about this person that I don't even really know.
Especially because he hasn't been in contact with me for the last three days... four soon :(

I feel like giving up. I probably should... right? :-/ .... wrong?
I hope this is all just some big misunderstanding.
... because I really like him.
... and I thought he really liked me.
... and I really miss him.
... and I feel so completely ridiculous for stressing so much over someone that I just met.
Why did he make me like him so much?
grr.

-The End-

Dedicated to Ryan.............. <3 <3 <3 <3

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 02:01:43 GMT

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh

Hey look.

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 23:52:21 GMT

I'm alive!

Because it's been a while.

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 23:28:17 GMT

Hi.

umm...copy cat and i cant sleep....

sunkistemo5@yahoo.com — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 13:16:08 GMT

Check this out

http://kevan.org/johari?view=BrittanyNichole

and thennnnn....check this out

http://kevan.org/nohari?view=BrittanyNichole